MTD Epidemic Sweeps Right-Wing Media: 'Mamdani Tension Dysphoria' Leaves MAGA Voices Hoarse From Panic Over Socialist Threat!

After eight long years of enduring accusations of 'Trump Derangement Syndrome,' the left has identified a new affliction plaguing conservatives: Mamdani Tension Dysphoria (MTD)—a condition causing strained, hysterical voices from nonstop terror over Zohran Mamdani, New York’s bold Democratic Socialist mayoral nominee. It was an unexpected win (despite the polls), and Mamdani has shocked the MAGA world to its core.

Common Symptoms of Mamdani Tension Dysphoria (MTD):

  • Sudden outbursts on Fox News panels
  • Uncontrollable tweeting about “socialists taking over”
  • Dry mouth from yelling “BUT ISRAEL”
  • Night sweats triggered by the words “housing” or “Palestine”
  • Pacing in circles when confronted with rent control data
  • Irrational fear of young progressives with integrity
  • Compulsive donation to primary opponents
  • Delusions involving George Soros and community organizers
  • Hallucinations of Karl Marx in campaign ads
  • MAGA influencers losing their voices mid-rant about "tax-funded grocery stores."
  • Islamophobic and xenophobic screeching "Promoting Islamic Law and Teaching Sharia in Schools"

"Fascinating," observed one doctor. "Their vocal cords are structurally sound—it’s just the sheer strain of hyperventilating over rent freezes and ICC arrest warrants for Netanyahu."

Recommended treatments include reading a policy paper, touching grass, and a strict Fox News detox. Until then, expect more raspy warnings about the coming "People’s Republic of Queens."

The louder they scream, the hoarser the red scare gets.