So some Albany pencil-pusher-okay, State Sen. Brad Hoylman-Sigal-just dropped a bill that's got more teeth than a Brooklyn landlord. The deal? Convicted felons can't slap their name on public buildings. And we all know exactly which marble-loving, small-time-stiffing, golden-toilet-buying guy inspired this.

Face it—a gold toilet is the only fitting legacy anyway.

The Blueprint:

  • Dude's rocking 34 felony counts - that's more violations than a non-union job site
  • Remember when he allegedly stiffed contractors on that gaudy Fifth Avenue tower? Now karma's sending the final invoice
  • Gov. Hochul once joked about renaming Penn Station if he funded the $7B renovation. Now ‘Trump Terminal’ sounds like a prisoner transfer depot—complete with his 2016 ‘I love the poorly educated’ speech playing on loop.
  • The only thing getting named after him now? A prison-yard Cybertruck—overpriced, under-delivered, and prone to rolling downhill in reverse.

The Punchlist:

  • With Three more cases pending and nine of his boys already felons (Manafort, Cohen, Stone...) - perfect for a Last Supper-style mural.
  • PSA to Elon: Can't spell "felon" without "Elon" - just saying ...

Change Orders:

  • Critics: "How many felons want buildings anyway?"
  • Smart guys: "Next you'll see the 'Steve Bannon Federal Soup Kitchen'"
  • Real ones: "Name a porta-potty after him - already gold-plated and full of shit"

Final Inspection:

If this passes, Trump's NY legacy goes from "You're fired" to "Permit denied" - and that's before we talk about the unpaid contractors.

Final Thought: If Trump ever does pay those contractors, we'll rename a porta-potty "The Art of the Deal." Until then????????

[Disclaimer: No billionaires were harmed... just their fragile egos. Union rules.]